Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out what is wrong in a relationship. One of you seems to be unhappy and you can’t figure out why. Probably things aren’t as good as they used to be. Periods of repeated unhappiness tend to occur more frequently and often you feel dissatisfaction, irritation, anger, frustration, disappointment, and these feelings increases each day and more frequently.

Sometimes, a breakup just happens out of the blue without any warnings whatsoever. However, a breakup is a process with a beginning, middle and an end. Nevertheless, you just need to accept that a relationship is over and move on, even though it is going to be hard for you.

Here are some signs that you really do need to move on

#1 When both of you have been unhappy for a while now

All couples go through hard times, especially if the relationship is long term. There will always be tension between you both occasionally, especially if you both have been living together for years, coming to terms with self-realization and at the same time, as being part of a couple. There will be pressures from the outside too; families, jobs, kids, distances, friends and others. When you communicate often with your partner, and you prioritize your relationship and make effort to make it work and also make compromises on what is causing the problem, your relationship might just come through stronger. The issue here is when one person refuses to recognize the importance of the other’s feelings or prioritize the relationship. If your partner repeatedly ignores you and your needs, tells you that you are wrong whenever you raise an issue or a concern, lies, refuses to change his behavior, or abuses you emotionally in any way, it is a clear sign you should quit the relationship.

#2 When you play the blame game

When the between you and your partner is that of resentment and mistrust, neither of you will be able to trust each other meet your needs and take care of the relationship. Your relationship doesn’t seem to be improving despite the endless war, and if you try to make it work one last time, whether you attempt to negotiate or trying to salvage something from the relationship and nothing positive is happening, please let it go. If your feel compelled, pressured, coerced, by your partner instead of motivated, quit the relationship.

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#3 When you don’t express affection for each other anymore

Every relationship is bonded together by the assurances that you love each other and you have a bond which could be secret love notes, verbal affection, physical affection or a combination of everything. If all that stops and you both are still living together, and you both are not doing things to make each other happy, then the relationship has become an empty shell. You should both meet and talk it out, but if there is no way forward, then it is time to quit the relationship.

#4 If you are always thinking about ending it

If you probably use the phrase “If I was single I would…”, or you wonder if you should quit, or you know you should quit it but you don’t know how to. If you constantly see yourself struggling to stay but you cannot give yourself reasons to, it is clear that your mind knows it is over already, even if the rest of you is taking time to come to terms with that fact.

#5 When you sabotage

Some people intentionally try to destroy a relationship by annoying or hurting or breaching the other person’s trust in the hopes that their partners will end it so they don’t have to. Worse, they disdain their partners when they refuse to end the relationship. If you or your partner is involved in this kind of act, please just go already. If you find that you are disrespecting yourself by getting involved in this petty act, for your sake and for the sake of your partner, please end the relationship.

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#6 When bad overrides the good

If bad times outnumber the good times, even longer that the period when the good times outnumbered the bad, it is a clear sign you should quit the relationship. If for instance, you have been together for about 5 years and you have been consistently unhappy for the last 3 years, then you need to work things out or end it. if you only get by presently with the memories of how good the relationship was, a part of you know that it is already over. The rest of you will catch up with time.

#7 When you both have different essential life goals

If you want children but your partner doesn’t, you like to travel but your partner rather remain fixated in a particular region, also, when it comes to ideological preferences and choices, you guys want different things and you both cannot seem to reach to a compromise, and you will also have to give up your dream or change your person just to please your partner, it is advisable you quit other than hang around and keep making each other happy.

#8 When you don’t seem to have anything to say to each other anymore

When nothing is connecting you both anymore other than being ‘in a relationship’, the relationship is as good as dead. If you both are not kind to each other anymore, and you say things to hurt each other because that is the only way you can reach out to each other and worse, you don’t care if this is hurtful or not, please end the relationship quickly, because it is not healthy.

#9 When you don’t laugh together anymore

When things you once found endearing and hilarious now irritate and bore you, or you being around your partner makes you feel worse if after you’ve had a bad day, then you should get out. If what used to be a haven for you, even during mid-crisis, is now becoming something hard and draining and you feel better when you are away from it, it is a clear sign you should quit, before it damages you both. This is totally fixable, however, if you feel you don’t have the strength to and it sounds like a much of an effort, end the relationship.

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#10 When both of you are unwilling to work at it

When you feel it has gotten to the point where the both of you has lost the zeal to make the relationship work and you are not even trying, it is a sign you should end things already. Whenever you see him, you go cold, you make excuses for not wanting to see him and you are not willing to put in effort to make peace, put an end to the relationship.

If you have a good relationship, it will feel like you are better together, than being separated. However, if you feel like you are trapped or limited, and the relationship isn’t growing anymore, if your partner consistently places emotional demands on you or sees your emotional needs as unwarranted demanding, if they expect you to be the hero of the day and save them from what they are going through and be there for them but they are not working on saving themselves and growing up; after you have tried to patiently work on the relationship, and nothing works, walk away because you are better off on your own.

Got any other relationship warning signs? Let us know in the comments section!

Onuoha Adanma idonsabi.com