These days, it is almost unfashionable for a woman to be a virgin; if a lady of about 25 years old says in public or in some circles that she is a virgin, she would be scorned at. I once read an article that 4 in every 5 couple in the UK cohabit before marriage. Cohabiting is a normal thing; a man and a woman live together without the commitment of marriage to see whether they can actually get married. It’s sad that, with the increase of civilization, moral standards and Godly principles are waning. However, technology and information may keep increasing but God’s Word is the same, because, He is the same yesterday, today and forevermore.
God’s Plan for marriage
God doesn’t change like shifting shadows and His plan for marriage has not changed either. His plan is that a man would leave his father and mother and then cleave to his wife and the two of them shall become one flesh. Notice the order; he leaves his father and mother and then cleaves to his wife and the two of them become one flesh. In other words, the man has to cleave or be joined to the woman before the becoming of one flesh; they have to be joined together in marriage first before they become one flesh through sex. There has to be a union before God. In the Garden of Eden, God laid the pattern for marriage; He personally joined Adam and Eve and they became one flesh afterwards. The wedding ceremony is a prototype of the Eden wedding; the man and the woman come before the priest who is God’s representative, he joins them together in holy matrimony and thereafter they consummate the marriage.
Benefits of waiting
The blessing of obedience
When you choose to obey God, you enjoy the blessing of obedience; when you don’t, you suffer the consequences of disobedience. God’s blessings are always tied to obedience; when you choose to obey God’s commands concerning being chaste before marriage, His blessing will be upon you and your marriage.
In addition, there is fulfillment and joy in preserving each other for each other. You know it’s like using a brand new item; a brand new car that no one has ridden. Your virginity is a good gift to give to your husband and for him also to give to you. You are saved the hang-ups of comparing your spouse to a former lover or partner. That is how God intended sexual pleasure to be, for it to be experienced only within the confines of marriage and to one person alone, your husband.
Demerits of pre-marital sex
Pre-marital sex comes with risks and dangers which could be avoided. These include; sexually transmitted diseases. Many STDs are as a result of not staying faithful to a partner. Like they say, AIDS no dey show for face. Abstinence is always the best form of prevention of STDs.
Again, pre-marital sex leads to loss of self-esteem. It is dishonourable for a man to sleep with a woman whom he has not married. A man who sleeps with you without having married you dishonours you. If he wants to sleep with you, he should do it the honourable way; ask for your hand in marriage and take you to the altar.
Also, having sex with him, before marriage, is not a guarantee that he would marry you. This is usually the deceit of the devil that you need to sleep with him first before he can marry you. That is a lie, he could still choose to walk away leaving you with more emotional trauma; loss of self-esteem and breach of trust. How many guys do you want to sleep with before getting married, if you continue in that trend?
Also, when a man and a woman sleep together before marriage, if not properly dealt with, it could lead to damage of trust between the two; they could go on suspecting each other of infidelity.
Maybe you have made mistakes in the past that led to the loss of your virginity, do not feel condemned. The important thing is to repent and move forward. Make a quality decision that as from now on you would maintain purity till your marriage. Maybe, thus far, you are still a virgin, it is a good gift to present to your husband; preserve it for him, he would appreciate it.