Hey ladies, I am aggrieved at my recent findings. It has come to my notice that some women see physical assault- men slapping them, beating them and mal-treating them- as a display of love. Chai! I’m fighting back tears as I write.

So in a conversation with a friend, she told me that her boyfriend proposed to her yesterday and in her celebration and excitement, she went to cook for the guy. When the man took the first spoon, he realized there was too much pepper in the food; he slapped her, threw the food away, pulled the ring from her finger, and chased her out.

She started to cry and asked me for advice on how to get the man back. What I wanted to do for her was to weep!


There have been countless stories and scenarios of men beating women up and all these women could think of is how to go back and beg that man to take them back! I don’t think any woman has to be told this explicitly, but here it goes: A MAN THAT HITS YOU DOESN’T LOVE YOU!

Love is a cocktail of feelings that makes someone to protect, provide, nurture and sacrifice for the object of its affection. Thus, if a man loves you, he would always want to communicate with you, respect you, value you, sacrifice for you, be there for you, and protect you amongst other things.

Please, ladies, just because a man spends for you doesn’t mean he loves you; money and love are not the same. It seems these days, when a man spends for a lady, the woman instantly confuses it with love and when he beats her she still thinks it is love! It is not!

Your partner is not your father; he has no right to hit you in the name of correcting you or showing you love; besides, you are not an animal or a child that needs to be beaten in order to be corrected. The moment a man hits you, either out of anger, or under the influence of alcohol, or even under a spell, leave the man without looking back for a second.

The moment you overlook or tolerate a man hitting you, you have given him the right to maltreat you as well as the freedom to beat you to death!

For the sake of emphasis, a man who maltreats you does not love you. Also, you need to love and value yourself enough in order to be with a man that values you in return.

Above all, always choose to be with a man with morals; I say this because a religious man may not necessarily be a morally upright man, but if you choose to be with a morally upright man, then he would definitely treat you with kindness and fairness which is what you truly deserve.


Nifemi Adekunle