I appreciate the insights you have given on various topics, which is why I feel I can trust you with this issue. My name is Bolaji and I am 28 years old. I have always believed in the idea of marrying your best friend and the person you love, but now I’m not so sure. I don’t have any male as my best friend, and I’m not in love with any man. Although I have many suitors, I’m not in love with any of them;I’m thinking I should just get married to one of them,since my biological clock is ticking. I’m really confused though, must I marry the person I love, or can I just marry a man I think is a good man?
Hi Bolaji, thank you for trusting me with your issues. I can understand how you feel. However, the issue of marriage is always a bit tricky, and no one can tell you for sure what to do, because in the end, it’s your life. While some people say you must marry the person you are in love with for your marriage to work, there are various marriages where both couples were in love and those marriages still crashed; while there are some who were not in love before getting married, and those marriages survived. This is because love is not the only factor that makes a marriage last, a lot of other factors, such as the fear of God, understanding, commitment, trust, and loyalty, also come into play.
So Bolaji, I would just advise that you access your options and do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. Also, don’t let anyone pressure you into making a decision that favours them instead of you;because you would be the one to live in your marriage.
This is my kind of truth; anyone who has a take on this should feel free to express his or her own view—is it a must to marry someone you love?