My name is Grace and I’m 27 years old. My boyfriend and I have been dating for like two years. We love each other very much, but anytime he talks about marriage he refers to it in the future tense, not like something that will happen anytime soon. I’m very ready to get married but anytime I bring it up, he just begins to list different things he needs to do and accomplish before getting married, and I really don’t know what to do.
I understand what you are saying and a lot of ladies have been there. I think what you need to do first is to understand why he is afraid of marriage. Most times, when women want to get married they think about the event—the wedding alone and all they are mostly concerned of is getting through it. But for men, it’s a little deeper than that. When they hear the word marriage what they translate it instantly to is the ‘finance’: They think about the money they would spend on a proposal, the wedding, the house rent, and taking care of the family and this can feel overwhelming.
The thing is your boyfriend is probably having the same fears. What you can do is to try and talk to him about it and let him know you understand and that you are both in it together. Let him understand that you see the financial aspect of the commitment and you are ready to move ahead with it if he is. Although, this would also mean that you both would need to have an open discussion about your finances and what you can afford.
If after having an open and honest conversation, he is still afraid of getting married, then he probably has deeper commitment issues. In this case, you might consider suggesting counseling to him and if after that, he still won’t budge then Grace darling, I think you might have to find yourself another man.
Cheers to your relationship success….
Nifemi cares (xoxo)