Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. They exist between two emotional human beings who bring their own past experiences, history, and expectations into it. Two different people also have different levels of skill when it comes to communication. Open, honest communication should be part of every healthy relationship. In this article culled from one of Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s messages, communication in relationships is given centre stage.
Importance of talking
For a relationship to be successful, you must be ready to talk. A dead relationship is a relationship where there is no talking. You must talk to resolve issues and misunderstanding; you must talk in order to have a deep understanding of each other; you must continually say words of affection and affirmation to each other for your love to grow. When a relationship is alive, there will be talking, when a relationship is dead you withdraw from talking.
The right way to talk: listening
Talking the right way is important in a relationship or marriage, if you do not talk the right way, you would not have a good relationship.
If you really respect your fiancé or spouse, you will listen to and understand them. For couples, fiancés to understand each other, they must talk and listen to each other.
Listening and understanding each other will help to solve a lot of problems and squabbles in the home. If you respect someone, you will listen to and understand them. Never shout people down, everyone has something valuable to say, you need to take time to listen.
It is one thing to listen; it is another to listen to understand. A fundamental principle of communication is that when someone is talking you listen attentively. You make sure you assimilate what the person is saying, not that you are busy thinking up responses in your mind to what the person is saying. Listening involves focus, it involves listening and showing empathy for what the other person is going through. As long as there is talking and understanding problems and issues would be resolved.
If you really love somebody, you will let the person talk to you and you will listen to and understand the person. Listening and understanding helps to foster love in a relationship.
Wrong once is not wrong always
Some men feel women are inferior to men so they are not worth listening to. However, women are not inferior to men, they are made from men actually. For example, God instructed Abraham to listen to his wife Sarah because she was giving him sound advice. The fact that a woman once gave a bad advice once does not mean she will always be wrong. Men should not therefore stop listening to their wives because they were wrong at some point.
A person does not know it all; God made the woman because the man needed someone to talk with him and have a relationship with him. Talking is a gift that God gave so you can share with your spouse. Let your spouse feel special, talk.
When you talk and open up, it helps you to share your problems and burdens. When you allow someone to talk, you show you value them even though the person was wrong. As a parent you must allow your kids to talk and express themselves, they may even be wrong but the way you respond will go a long way to build their self-confidence.
God himself created man because He needed someone to talk with.