You are a millennial gradually getting into the age bracket you’ve secretly dread reaching. Your hippy 20s are gradually falling behind and you are staring the big 30 in the face! Now, you are making decisions on marriage and/or having kids of your own! How on earth are you supposed to be responsible for another human’s growth, path and values when you’ve just about made out your own way, you muse to yourself.
It’s definitely not rocket science. Your parents did it and you will make a great parent too if you challenge yourself to put in the effort and you are conscientious about it. Here are eight tips to get you along:
Explain what it means to be independent
Your children should learn some certain level of independence. They need to understand that they are unique and special and that they can be different from anyone else. They also need to know what is wrong and what is right. The sooner you do it, the easier it will be for them to become independent. Although they are still kids, they can make their own decisions and have their own wishes and dreams.
Protect your children
Your kids need to be protected. They should always feel safe and secure. Security is essential for your children’s well-being. They need their parents to make serious decision even when they are over 17 years old and when they think they are mature enough to do whatever they want. The fact is that they are still kids and they need protection when they stay home or go outside. Talk to the teachers and make sure that the school that your child attends is good and that his circle of friends consists of trustworthy children. Keep track of what sort of site your children use and do not let technologies put your family at risk. You know that nowadays there are too many dangers and we are talking about the real world as well as its virtual version – the Internet. Finally, talk to your children and explain why it is so important to take care of this issue.
Listen to your kids
Parents are not a police department that issues orders, rules and laws. Your children need your kindness and understanding. Be gentle and attentive. Talk to your children and learn to listen to them. They may be willing to open up to you so that you could help them or give advice. If you ignore this tip, your kids will look for help elsewhere and trust strangers rather than you. Ask your kids if they would like to talk to you and tell them that you are ready to listen to their concerns.
Order is a good thing. And so is discipline. Be an example of what an organized and disciplined person is like and follow the rule that you have set. Your spouse should also maintain order in the family and demonstrate that your family will be united and friendly as long as there is some level of order in all spheres of your family life. Have schedules for your kids and yourself and know when you have meals or go to bed. Set aside time for entertainment and other important activities.
All your children need is your love. Express your affection and be closer to your own children. Who else will ever love them as much as you can? If you do not do this now, then they may feel unhappy and abandoned later in their life. Tell them how much you care and love. Hug them and make them feel that you are proud of them. Parents should also be ready to help their children and protect them at all times.
Do not set unreasonable expectations
Your demands can make your child’s life unbearable. It is cruel to expect your kids to achieve some unreasonable goals. Do not punish them if they fail. On the contrary, provide support and assistance if you know they need it. Inspire and encourage your kids. Be proud of the smallest results and remember to notice the small things your child does to move forward.
Spend more time with your children
You should not get obsessed with this tip. Your children need some time for themselves so let them stay on their own from time to time. However, do not forget that spending time with your children strengthens your bond and makes your family a real team. Ask your kids what they would like to do and how they would like to spend next weekend. Arrange something interesting that would involve all your family members.
Be a unit with your spouse
The more united you are with your spouse, the easier it is for both of you to raise your kids. First of all, you should agree on some certain aspects. Discuss with your partner how to bring up your kids. Know each of your responsibilities. Avoid contradictions between the two of you. Share your duties and let each of you be responsible for their own sphere. Deal with problems and issues first, resolve conflicts and avoid misunderstandings.
with additional information from LadiesTalks