After several abortions before marriage, I finally got married to a wonderful guy. However, he doesn’t have all the sordid details of my past life. We have been trying for 3 years now to have a baby and I fear it may be as a result of my actions in the past. Do I own up now? Isn’t it too late? (Rose, Benin)
I’ll begin by saying there is no single human being without an adulterated past, be it lies, gossip, lust, greed, malice, envy, jealousy, backbiting, abortion, cheating, stealing, rape or outright murder. There is no small or big sin before God- every act of sin is categorized same before God. That is not to say God condones sin. God detests sin, but loves the sinner because it is not His delight to see us wallow in sin whose end is imminent destruction.
However, in Christ, our past is wiped out clean by the blood of Jesus and we have a clean slate to begin with. 2 Corinthians 5:17 states that ‘If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature, old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new’. So long as you’ve done away with your past deeds and surrendered to Jesus, He no longer holds your past against you. So the question I’ll ask is ‘have you surrendered to Jesus?’ If you have, you need no longer to berate yourself over your past because as long as God is concerned, it no longer exists. On the other hand, if you have not surrendered to Jesus, I’ll encourage you to do so. It’s only in Him you can make giant strides forward having had your past completely wiped out through the spotless Blood of Jesus.
Thirdly, go for a medical check up to ascertain the cause of the infertility. If the doctor says it’s because of past abortions, ask to know what options you have. If they are not much, you’ll have to bring your husband in and plead with him to join you in praying because regardless of what the doctors say, you know you are still going to have your children. You need his buy-in. It won’t augur well if your husband discovers himself.
Your children will come at God’s appointed time, just believe God’s Word. Study God’s Word particularly where the blessings of children are emphasized. You could begin from Gen 1:28 ‘God blessed them and said, have many children and grow in number. Fill the earth and be its master. Rule over the fish in the sea, and the birds in the sky and over every living thing that moves in the earth’. Also, Exodus 23:26 states that ‘None of your women will have her baby die before it is born, and all women will have children, I will allow you to live long lives’. There are many other scriptures that focus on God’s blessings on fruitfulness.
In conclusion, it’s good you feel to remorseful but don’t allow the devil hold you bound through guilt. Regardless of how adulterated your past may be, your future remains a glorious virtue.
Rejoice, mother of nations.
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