Marriage is very serious business, and like a portion of the sacred vows taken at the ceremony declares, it should not be entered flippantly.
Here are ten things you need to consider as you about yourself and your relationship if you are considering this life time commitment.
1. Establish a true acceptance of our parents and of their relationships.
Some of us were blessed enough to have parents with a very strong and loving relationship, but others were not as lucky. Before getting married, leaving behind resentments and negativity caused from the marriage you were shown as an example is really important. Your marriage never has to be your parents’ marriage, and overcoming these feelings can be a daunting and challenging task, but a crucial one.
2. Rid ourselves of our immaturities.
When you envision the journeys from your first love to the last love, you want to see the changes you have made. You have to see yourself letting go of pettiness. You want to see an understanding woman who possesses very little jealousy, selfishness or bitterness. Before you dedicate yourself to a man, you must be mature enough to handle the situations you face together with a sort of grace.
3. Love who we are and find true confidence.
You have to build a life with someone, not within someone. It becomes all too easy to establish a sense of identity in someone else. Before promising yourself to someone forever, you have to be able to know how special and incredible forever can be with you. You have to believe that first, and not wait for someone to tell you.
4. Feel like we have and will continue to follow all of our dreams.
Contrary to some beliefs, following one’s dreams isn’t just a quest limited to a person’s 20s. The ability to continue to follow our dreams is a lifelong gift.
Before marrying someone, we all need to feel like we have followed our dreams pertaining to being young and single. We also have to feel like we will still be able to follow our dreams with our partner.
A partner is someone with whom to grow and follow the desires of your heart and mind. Being confident you can do those things without someone else, and that you’ve done all you’ve wanted to do on your own, is crucial.
5. Let go of unfair expectations of ourselves.
Before we get married, it’s important to be able to let go of this expectation of perfection for ourselves. We can’t expect perfection in our relationships or in who we are. We will be many things in our lives; we may even be mothers and fathers. If we are going to do that with any amount of happiness, we will need to be able to accept imperfection, and see the beauty that lies within each of us.
6. Become entirely conscious of the fact that there is no need to rush any stage of life.
Rushing is in our nature. We get excited, and we want to move on to each new and intriguing stage of our lives. However, part of being truly ready to get married is knowing that like all other stages, it doesn’t have to be done in a hurry. Marriage is not a testament to the validity of your adulthood or to your mature relationship. It isn’t something to check off your list before you move on to the next category of gift registry you can create. When we each get married, it should be the right time. It should be something we can afford and can spend the time we really want to on. Every other stage is that way, too, and entering one as important as marriage without pacing yourself can damage one’s ability to appreciate each state he or she is in at the time.
7. Understand what we require from life for true happiness.
This may seem like a no-brainer upon first glance, but it is actually extremely difficult to concretely determine what it is each of us needs for happiness. If it’s passion and laughter you need in life, that isn’t something you can compromise.
You have to be able to do things you are passionate about that bring you true happiness with your spouse. You have to be able to go on hikes together or order pizza for movie marathons. You have to be able to talk about what matters to you, and you have to be able to do what you love.
The first step to all of that is just figuring out what those things are that you need in life, and making sure you have them when you are ready to be a husband or wife.
8. Stop making decisions out of fear.
Being with someone forever shouldn’t be because you are afraid to be without him or her. The same goes for your career choices or your choices with living circumstances. You shouldn’t live in one place because you don’t know if you’d make it where you really want to be. You shouldn’t marry a person because you are afraid you won’t find someone else.
You shouldn’t settle in life at all, and you certainly shouldn’t do so because of fear. As adults, we must be able to thrive in the unknown, and follow the rhythmic passions of our hearts and minds.
During the years we are married, we will face situations that are terrifying and complicated. However, entering those years knowing that your heart is stronger than your sweaty palms can make all the difference in the end.
9. Understand the importance of understanding.
Being young can often mean being innately selfish. This is often a good thing actually because it helps to encourage each of us to work towards our dreams vigorously and not allow others to dictate our life choices.
However, when it comes time to share a life with someone, selfishness can be toxic in certain ways. Marriage brings differences; it means making decisions alongside someone else that strongly affect the both of you.
It means looking at situations from a perspective that isn’t your own, with the intent to compromise and respect one another. Before any of us are ready to offer a partnership in this world, we have to be ready to let go of stubborn attitudes and pridefulness.
10. Know what love is.
Love is patient. Love is kind. It is not envious, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. — 1 Corinthians 13
Make it a point to acquire this attributes because you can only give what you have
Source: Elite Daily