Of the several very difficult aspects of divorce, having to go from a stay at home mom to a full-time job might be at the top of the list. Going back to work after divorce is often looked at by women as a negative thing, and something they have to do because of finances.
Here are four reasons why you may be wary of going back to work after divorce:
1. Fear of technology.
You might think technology had changed, like it will be very intimidating and frightening. You might not have the self-confidence in that regard whatsoever. But anyone who has a fear of technology, don’t be afraid, it’s very, very easy to learn and get catch up with. If some women can do it, ANYONE can. Trust me! My suggestion is, before or during your job search, invite a friend over to show you some programs you might need in your new career. In no time, you’ll be making YouTube videos and whipping out an excel spreadsheet!
2. Fear of leaving the kids with a sitter or in childcare.
You just have to take a leap of faith and trust that whoever you choose to care for your children is going to do a great job. Make sure you hire someone you feel really good about, someone you trust with your kids’ safety. The details…those aren’t so important. So, what if the nanny’s a little messy? Is she warm and loving? And will she protect your babies? That’s the key. Like anything else, you will get used to leaving your kids with others. It’s hard, I know. But you will!!
3. Fear of failure/lack of self-confidence.
You don’t take as much pride in what you do. So, when you land a job, you might think, “I hope I can do it. What if I can’t and I get fired?!” It’s really, really scary, but have faith that, you will be great! Trust me! And stop asking yourself some questions like these, what if I can’t do it?”, “you’ll figure it out” and that’s exactly what going to happen.
4. Fear of lifestyle change, in general.
Change is a constant thing and everyone fears it. Especially as we get older. That’s normal. You’re not going to be doing the 9am spin class anymore. You’ll be doing the 6:45pm spin class. You aren’t going to meet your girlfriend at Starbucks at 1pm on Tuesday. You are going to meet her at 1pm on Sunday. You’re not going to take your kids to a Monday afternoon movie, you’re going to take them to a Saturday afternoon movie. It’s okay. Everything still gets done. You make time for the things you need and love to do.
Embrace it, Ladies!!
Here are the advantages why going back to work after divorce could be the best thing for you:
I’ve often heard women say things like, “Because he decided to get a girlfriend and end our 20-year marriage, now I have to go back to work?! That might be true. You didn’t ask for this, and it’s not your fault that it is happening to you. Or, maybe YOU were the one who left and although you are really terrified to go back to work, you think it’s a better option than staying in a bad marriage. Every situation is different, but here is what happens in going back to work after divorce:
1. A dramatic increase in self-esteem.
You start seeing yourself in a new dimension, things are working out for you, you bringing home checks and cashing them, and watch what happens to your self-esteem! Your manager calls you into his office and tells you how well you are doing and you are on top of the world in a way you never knew you could be. It’s wonderful! Your kids love you to death and they appreciate you, but they will never tell you what a great job you are doing, cooking, cleaning and caring for them. But your company sure will!
2. Your social life improves. Through work, you start meeting people. Men and women. They become your friends. You meet others through them. You are interacting all day long with adults, versus watching Baby Einstein videos and washing dishes. You might meet your co-workers out for drinks and meet new friends.
In closing, I will say this. Nothing bad can ever come from going back to work after divorce! Nothing. What you think might be a curse can turn out to be an opportunity for you to grab a life you absolutely love!!