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I lost my husband a few years ago to an unfortunate accident. Barely a year after his demise, my folks started putting pressure on me to remarry. They have even gone as far as matchmaking. My mum says it’s because she doesn’t want me to grow old alone. I don’t want to remarry…why can’t they just see that? [Leonora, Ajah]

Please accept my condolences on your husband’s demise. God will continually comfort you and your family.

Meanwhile, your parents are only concerned for you being a young lady. It’s only normal that you’ll want company which they may not be able to give you. And the truth is they mean well, please don’t misunderstand their intentions. I assume they loved your husband while he was alive, but they feel since he is long gone, you should move on and quit mourning.

However, you have to decide what you want and not allow anybody do that for you. It’s your life and you have to take charge. No doubt you must have dearly loved your husband, but the truth is he is not coming back. You have to gather yourself together and chart a way forward. No doubt, it’s easier said than done right? But a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson states ‘once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen’. If you don’t decide what you want, you would remain stuck in pain and grief and also be at the mercy of those who control your life. Nothing lasts forever on earth, change is a constant thing we all must come to terms with. Deciding to move on with God on your side and taking actionable steps will empower you to take charge of your life.

I will close by asking again, ‘what do you want?’ You are the only one who can answer that question satisfactorily. You may not be able to answer immediately, so take your time. However, you need to always remember that it’s your life, so it’s up to you to take charge of it. But, take charge, you must; it’s your life remember?

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